As I was texting a close friend of mine about food…yes food. She’s a phenomenal caterer. The topic of my disturbing past came up. My molestation. Now of course I brought it up in a subconscious, unnecessary explanation of details, but I did mention the words “Killing em’ with kindness is real.”

See often times we harbor the hate we have for those that have harmed us. We don’t forgive, and we certainly don’t forget. I guess I learned forgiveness early because at such a young age I realized there was nothing I could do to change other people or the actions they take. I always said to myself, “this person has taken enough from me, I won’t let them take my life too.” What kind of person would I be if I held on to the anger for my stepfather, my family, my rapist, the lady who murdered my dad, my ex boyfriends? I’ll tell you…I would be an angry ass woman! Now granted I do have some anger management issues that stem from…well I don’t know yet, but my therapist and I are working on it. However, my anger isn’t shown by my actions. I used to throw things and get violent, until I realized it costs a lot of money to fix the things I had broken. It was free to fix me (not counting therapy and psychiatric session payments). So, I gave my anger and heart to God. I gave my enemies to Him because He can give a punishment that hurts much deeper than what I could do.

To all the people who hurt me over the years, you wouldn’t know from my interaction with them. Everyone always says, “I don’t see how you talk to such and such after what they did to you.” For the longest, I didn’t understand it either. Later on, I realized that honestly, it’s just who God made me to be. He made me to be strong, resilient (words from my caterer friend), and forgiving. He made me to take that pain and anger and put it into something positive. Like…The Troubled Movement, my books, my writings, my blog, my YouTube channel, my motivational videos, my speaking engagements.

Ask yourself if you are holding on to anger towards someone. From someone who is kind to a person that hurt me more than words can express every day I’ll tell you this; it’s not easy but it’s possible. See I can’t avoid my stepfather, so I must accept it, and I have made peace with that. Some of the people who hurt you may no longer be in your life and that’s GREAT! (Still forgive them) For those that are still there, don’t be angry towards them. Treating them with a level of revenge only makes them win by affecting your emotions even after the harm is done.

But…if you kill them with kindness, I promise there is no greater feeling. It’s called POWER!

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