Everyday I sit and wonder where my life goes from here. The pain sits inside. It hurts so bad I can't even cry. I've wondered how I've gotten through only 7 days. Then I think of God above and how he has brought me many ways. Its so hard to get up in the morning let alone move on. I feel like I'm living in a really long dream that I can't wake up from. As if one day I'll look up and you'll be standing there. Truth is you won't and that's a reality I have to face. On the outside I laugh, I smile, I keep pushing. In the inside I'm weak, I'm crying, I'm broken. To lose four men is like a knife to my heart.