An Attempt to Stop ME
I used to believe the myth that most of the things we have PTSD over or fear will happen again, never do. Yeah that’s a bunch of bullshit to me now. 11 years since my rape and here we go again. I’ll let you take a minute because it’s about three people who know about this, so it’s going to come as a shock…
Single, Saved, and Celibate Series: Couple Celibacy
A male friend of mine reached out to me because as he was googling celibacy, my blog came up. Skipping the part of the conversation that is for one none of your business, he told me that him and his girlfriend decided to be celibate until their wedding day. I asked a few questions, mainly on faith and spirituality. But it got me thinking…that’s a really good topic for my blog.
Single, Saved, and Celibate Series: Masturbation...Everyone's Answer
Disclaimer: If you are under age, one of those people who can’t read or talk about sex as if it’s not a part of human life, or a “Super Christian” whose mouth drops open when someone says sex of any type and all things related: don’t read past this line and if you do well…read at your own risk.
Disclaimer 2: I am not promoting celibacy, sexual misbehavior, or trying to convert people in any way. I’m just sharing on what I know based on my experience because…duh that’s what I do.
So here we are…the topic people avoid but actually do.
Masturbation - stimulation of the genitals with the hand for sexual pleasure.
One of the MOST common answers or question I get is, “So do you masturbate?” or “You should masturbate.” Literally, this is what I get from people when I tell them I’m celibate.
So, do I masturbate? Yes!
Single, Saved, and Celibate Series: Breaking Toxic Ties
Wow! When I started this series in January 2018, I didn’t think it would be as popular as it is. I mean…it’s celibacy. Who wants to talk about that in today’s culture? I’m amazed at how many women and MEN have come to me for advice on being celibate.
So, let’s get into toxic soul ties and how to break them. I received this question from someone on Instagram. Anonymity is my thing so don’t be afraid to ask me anything.
How do you break a soul tie that caused you to break your celibacy?
Child Sex Abuse Series: Releasing Your Silence
I haven’t questioned God very much in my life because I’ve always felt like everything happens for a reason. However, there have been times where I thought, “God let me be sexually abused not once, but twice before I turned 18. Both consistently and one-time. Both disgustingly drawn out and brutal.” It wasn’t until I started talking about my abuse that I saw why it happened. You see God knows us better than we know ourselves. He plans our lives before we are even formed in the womb. So, He knew that my voice would be powerful, and that I would be strong enough to go through abuse and then speak on it. He knew that I would change lives with my story…
Child Sex Abuse Series: Effects, Trauma, and The Aftermath
SAY HIS NAME SIS! SAY HER NAME BRO! Period.
Welcome again to my Child Sex Abuse Series. It is amazing how much positive you can do when your release your silence and break free from the chains of secrecy. I released my silence years ago when I released Troubled, but it wasn’t my full truth. The weight that I carried on my shoulders shielding my stepfather, my family, my mom, myself (because victims experience shame), was so heavy it felt like carrying around two whole bodies.
Child Sex Abuse Series: Unfortunately, It Starts at Home
WARNING: THIS BLOG CONTAINS GRAPHIC DETAILS. PROCEED WITH CAUTION.
So, as you guys may or may not know, I began my YouTube channel, “Motivation With ME” two months ago. If you don’t know, now you know so subscribe here.
Now, let’s begin with my own experience shall we. Around this time last year, I did an article for Voyage Houston magazine where I finally released that my stepfather is my childhood abuser (Read article here).
Kill Em' With Kindness
As I was texting a close friend of mine about food…yes food. She’s a phenomenal caterer. The topic of my disturbing past came up. My molestation. Now of course I brought it up in a subconscious, unnecessary explanation of details, but I did mention the words “Killing em’ with kindness is real.”
Three Key Elements: Following God’s Path for You
I wrote this as a submission to Urban Faith magazine two years ago. Sometimes, I go through my old writings. I’m grateful that God guided me to look at this one because I needed this! I hope it will help you too.
#TheBlackSuperwoman
Born in the late summer season of September
With a purpose that only God knew
Raised by a single mom and wise elders
She became the strength she saw
Make Time for Yourself
I can’t tell y’all how many times I’ve attempted to write a blog. How many paragraphs or titles are in my phone. How many times I’ve planned or talked about it. Between a storm, a blessing, and a schedule so full the boxes on the calendar are too small, I just…couldn’t do it.
Single, Saved, and Celibate Series: Yes...Oral Sex is Sex Too
Disclaimer: If you are under age, one of those people who can’t read or talk about sex as if it’s not a part of human life, or a “Super Christian” whose mouth drops open when someone says sex of any type and all things related: don’t read past this line and if you do well…read at your own risk.
My dear readers, celibate siblings, and those in between…
It’s been almost a month since I’ve posted in the enlightening Single, Saved, and Celibate Series. Between conviction and commitment, this blog post has taken a little longer than usual. Fret not! I am here now and I am ready to dive into to this very complicated, opinionated topic.
When I first began my road to celibacy, I tried to find loopholes. It’s like I wanted everything except vaginal sex. I wanted oral sex or “head” as we sometimes call it. I wanted to kiss, cuddle, foreplay, all-a-dat. So, I did. Oral sex wasn’t frequent for me, but that devil was surely present.
Okay right here is when people hit me with the, “Aww you’re not really celibate! You might as well just have sex” line.
Single, Saved, and Celibate Series: Engagment Is Not Marriage
FIRST, HAPPY THREE-YEAR CELIBACY ANNIVERSARY TO ME!
It’s been a looonnngggg time coming. Cheers to the unknown number of years to come.
I’ve often received the question, of course from inquiring men studying the vow that I’ve taken, “What if you get engaged? Will you have sex with your fiancé since you know you guys are going to be married?”
No!
My answer is always no. There are no “work-arounds” to celibacy. The celibate vow is until marriage. Marriage has been entered after the Officiant says, “I now pronounce you husband and wife.” Then and only then will my celibate journey end. Just because you are engaged to someone doesn’t give a 100% guarantee you’ll get married.
Single, Saved, and Celibate Series: Fighting Temptation
Satan is that you?
I usually say this statement to myself when I feel like I am being tempted. Whether it be through a fine, delicious looking man or something else I know I can’t have. You see the devil tempts everyone differently. The seed of your temptation is planted in your weaknesses. My weakness, for a long time, was men. If you’ve read my first book, Troubled, you will remember that nearly every chapter was a new man and a new heartache.
Single, Saved, and Celibate Series: Honesty is Key!
While I don’t recommend just blurting out “I’m celibate!” to every man you meet, I do believe that it should be said upfront before the friendship gets too far or you get stuck in that awkward moment of what would be intimacy. By telling a man you’re celibate before the conversation of sex and intimacy takes place, you make the assumption that all men want sex from you. While this is true 90% of the time, it can be rude to someone who doesn’t have sex on the brain.
Single, Saved, and Celibate Series: There's No Them in You
Today’s blog post for the Single, Saved, and Celibate Series was requested by an Instagram follower and I think that it is VERY important to speak on.
Peer Pressure!
So, you’ve made the choice to become celibate in today’s society filled with SEX. You MUST be crazy! You’re weird. Who does that? I’ve gotten those comments along with many others. I’m fortunate enough in life to not care about people’s opinions of me or my choices. I look at like this. It’s MY LIFE! Are you Maranda Moné Evans born on September 1, 1992 to Randy Evans and Melissa Pickens? No. Are you the God who wakes me up every morning? No.
Single, Saved, and Celibate Series: Save Yourself!
I’ve tried to find books that cater to celibate and SINGLE people. I got nothing. All I’ve read is “I was celibate, but now I’m happily married” books such as, The Wait. While I loved these books, it’s not helpful to someone is currently “going through the celibate struggle”. So, in the words of the great Toni Morrison, “If there’s a book you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.” We all know I can and will write a book about this, but I was led in a different direction this time.
New Year, BETTER ME
I get it. It’s a trend. It’s a hashtag. It’s what “they say”. Well guess what. There isn’t a you or me in they, so we don’t have to be a part of it. Don’t be new, be you boo! (bars)
In the preparation stage for 2018, I’ve decided not to be a new me but a better me, a wealthier me, a more successful me. First, I’m going to be the me that stops underestimating my gifts and talents. Before you get confused…let me explain.