An Attempt to Stop ME
Originally written March 2020
TRIGGER WARNING
You would think after writing and releasing a book, I’d take a break. Y’all know me…when there’s a story to tell, it will be told. Well I have a hell of a story to tell, so brace yourself. Also, you may want to grab the wine for this.
I read somewhere a post that said, “Be careful what you say or do to an author. You just might end up in a book.”
I can say this is definitely true for the people in my life. They’ve either been or will be in one of my books because whenever I get a chance to tell my story, I take it. On Wednesday, March 25th, I released my third book, One Flesh: The Handy-Dandy Celibacy Workbook. I’d been working on it since I finished the rough draft of my fourth book, Transformation, back in October 2019. My blog series, Single, Saved, and Celibate, had become so popular I thought an expanded version would be the perfect idea.
I won’t go into detail about the contents of the book or the topic of celibacy. You’ll just have to read it yourself. We all know, celibacy is a vow or commitment on the basis of religious reasoning. I repeat more than once in the book and my blog that without God, there is no vow. The #1 thing that will keep you in the celibate journey is your relationship with God. Especially when it gets lonely because trust me, at times it will be. At 5 years of experience, I figured I’d had enough information to share some insight on the process and journey. Even better, I’m still celibate which means I’m still in the game with you.
Well I must’ve made the devil pretty damn mad with this one because he just couldn’t let me release this book into the world. Did he think I was going to convert people to celibacy? It’s not my intention to do that. Maybe because God’s Word was attached to it. Hence the title that’s based on Matthew 19:5. Whatever his reasoning, I’m glad he failed. Bastard.
How did he do it?
He saw one of my vulnerable moments and used it to his advantage. I remember when I released the announcement on March 19th that a new book was coming. I was beyond excited and couldn’t wait until the 25th to release it. After staying up all night and waking up out of my sleep (which happens often because it’s most certainly 1:42 a.m. right now) to write this book, it was ready!
And then the night of the 20th came. A night I didn’t see coming. An experience I thought I’d never go through again. The worst feeling anyone could have.
Sexual assault round three…
Excuse my language but THREE FUCKING TIMES!
I used to believe the myth that most of the things we have PTSD over or fear will happen again, never do. Yeah that’s a bunch of bullshit to me now. 11 years since my rape and here we go again. I’ll let you take a minute…
HOLD: Before you jump to conclusions, this person is not or has ever been posted on my social media.
*ironically sips tea*
Okay I’m back and hope you are too. Although it’s known that I’m an advocate for sex abuse, a survivor, someone who makes change and not excuses. The point is to show you these things:
The slick behavior of the enemy when you’re doing something God called you to do
The ways of temptation during celibacy
How to get back up and keep going
And for those still wondering…yes, I’m still celibate, thank God. Let’s just say you learn a few tricks and become very in tune with your body over time. I take joy in my strength to still release this book 4 days after a traumatic experience. It was the ultimate slap in the devil’s face.
Oh, bitch you tried it…and failed.
I still have to deal with the process of healing that comes with what happened to me. Decisions have to be made. A lot of them. However, I’ve come too far in my life and purpose to be stopped. Now I may not have the energy to actually promote One Flesh, but at least the world has access to it. That’s what’s most important to me.
Your situation may be less or more severe than mine, but I am proof that you are still able to accomplish the things you put your mind to, and GOD will give you strength and courage. Please trust Him and believe me when I say He is always with you, even in times of trouble.
For my squad (because I know we role deep), don’t worry about me. Just pray for me. Just like the past, I will heal from this too. Plus…I’m stronger now, in all areas.
View my Facebook testimony (and call-out to the bastard who came for me) below!
To purchase One Flesh, visit www.victorianpublishing.com/bookstore and use the code BLOGFAN for 25% off. I’m offering a discount to my awesome blog readers :)
Love you all!
P.S. This COVID-19 situation is gruesome. Stay safe and wash your hands (as you should definitely be already doing).
December 21, 2020
