Wait a Damn Minute. . . I'm Still 25
Man, I tell you this blog was heavy on my heart yesterday. It especially hit me when I was in church after a photoshoot I had yesterday. Between my therapist session last week and my friend asking me “Where you going with that short dress on?” I had to step back and say. . .
Wait a minute goddamn! I am STILL 25! Being 25 is a blessing of youth, the best years to have fun, to enjoy life in the moment, do what you want before marriage and kids. Being 25 means BEING FREE and doing things now to deal with the consequences later.
I can wear a short dress at 25. I can get drunk at 25. I can do so much at 25.
But sadly…I’m not doing 25 year-old things.
It’s hard being “different” than my generation. It’s hard having REAL responsibilities and REAL goals in your twenties. While every other 25 and under year-old is out having fun, getting LIT, enjoying life, married, and pregnant (WHICH I DO NOT WANT RIGHT NOW); I get to send important emails and schedule/attend events (some of which are boring).
I love what I’ve accomplished. I thank God for what He has blessed me with. How many women at 25 can say they’ve published two books, founded a non-profit, speaks to teens everywhere, and paid for two degrees?
. . . .. . .. . . .. . . Exactly!
I had to make a decision that as a young, Christian, ambitious woman my life had to be different. My lifestyle IS different. People are looking at me through a microscope. Waiting for me to fuck up. Just so they can say “HA! She ain’t all that. She still the same girl that was twerking ass on YouTube.” I mean going in on me like a slab of ribs at a country BBQ.
Let me post a picture with my stomach out and a short dress…I’ll have somebody on my phone quicker than when Trump tweet some stupid shit, which is pretty much every tweet.
“You shouldn’t post that.”
“It’s bad for your image.”
“You’re supposed to be a Christian woman, motivator for teens”
“Don’t ruin your brand.”
Now y’all know I don’t care about what I say to folk. My teens, my people, my readers love my honesty. If you can’t respect my honesty or deal with it then I can’t help you. Because a fake person ain’t worth shit in a real life. So to those people who are worried about what my social media perceives to other people…no I’m not going to say it. I JUST might hurt someone’s feelings.
But I will say…goddamnit I’m still 25. You’re 40+ with more time behind you than in front of you. (NO SHADE JUST FACTS). I’m still young and I have every right to do what the youngins do. As long as I’m not going against the laws of the Lord and His Word, I CAN DO WHAT I WANT!
Facebook is not my God, Instagram didn’t die for my sins, and followers and friends don’t feed my soul with the Holy Spirit. I don’t owe social media or the people watching anything.
That’s our problem now. We’re so worried about “our brand” or “our image” that we forget to be who we really are. We forget to show people THE TRUTH about us. I’m sorry but I can’t live a scripted life. If that removes me from the lineup for greatness than oh well *insert shrug emoji here*. People are drawn to me effortlessly. I’m really and truly just ME. I don’t analyze social media posts and make statistics out of every pixel of a picture or do a scientific experiment on hashtags. I just say what’s on my heart (because what’s on my mind might not be appropriate). I still have manners.
I care about how people look at The Troubled Movement and myself, I do. I have to care because it’s my hard work. But it’s not going to stop me from being me. I’m posting my short dress. I’m cursing on Facebook in front of my elders. I’m saying things that make people say “Did she just..” I’m doing it all with courage and audacity. Why?
Because damnit I’m STILL 25!
And I’m intelligently inappropriate…
I’ve earned the right to be petty. *flips hair and waves*
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